Intimacy PDF Print E-mail

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Many people who have had a colostomy surgery have experienced quite a life and body altering experience.  One of the many top concerns that go through their minds is what will happen to their sex lives, will their spouse or loved one still have that intimate feeling towards them?  Will they even feel comfortable or have the desire? And for those who are dating how and when do you share with someone about your colostomy.

The support of a personal relationship is so very important and such a large part of the healing process.  The most important aspect to all of this is communication and understanding of what each other feels and needs.  The colostomy surgery is something that both sides of a relationship needs to learn to adjust to.  Once the recovery time is finished and you have the okay from your surgeon to go on with an active lifestyle, which includes your intimate and sexual relationship, it’s time to find your comfort zone.

The emotional support from intimacy is also an important factor for healing of the heart and soul.  To feel normal again, to feel loved by the person you depend on the most.  It’s reassuring that so many people can still enjoy an active relationship with a spouse or loved one, and that even babies are still created.  If you are considering having children (and I know many of you are past that so stop laughing) talk to your doctor with any concerns you may have and what he would like you to do.

If you aren’t ready to have sex right away, talk to your partner and start slowly.  Kissing, touch, massage are all a great way to start.  Kind and encouraging words from your partner of how attractive you still are is always helpful.  Clarifying with your partner that any sexual activity will not cause harm to your stoma would also help ease them of the fear of causing you any pain. 

Look into intimate apparel for colostomy’s there are some very beautiful garments for women, and some nice cover garments for men.  Two companies I found that I liked were Intimate Moments Apparel and Wear Close’s intimate ostomy line of apparel, both available at  ……FILL THIS IN WITH A GOOD WEBSITE TO REFER
These are great to help have that sexy feel again, which we all know will add to the desired end result.  Other options are to use a small pouch, opaque pouch, stoma cap, or a pouch cover during intimate moments.  For added confidence empty and clean your pouch, and check your seal is tight and secure.  In time your confidence and security in the pouch staying intact will rise.

For some there may be some temporary changes in your body.  Some have experienced vaginal dryness or erectile dysfunction, if a position feels uncomfortable let your partner know and try something different.  It may take a bit of experimentation to find a comfort zone, generally lying on the side is helpful.  Women who have had their colon and rectum removed may feel a different sensation from the lack of cushioning, once again find your comfort zone and work with it.

All in all communication, understanding one another and experimenting is the key to the success of having an intimate lifestyle back.  Take your time and enjoy, relax and stay as stress free as possible, don’t let the colostomy interfere in what your body, mind, and soul need.  If you still need some encouragement look in colostomy support groups in your area and online, share your feelings and see how others have conquered their fears too.

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